Valentine’s Day is almost upon us. A day associated with hearts, flowers, candy, and (if you are a certain age) a fancy “date” at a nice restaurant. But my clearest childhood memory of Valentine’s Day is those chalky Valentine heart candies. Strangely enough, the small candies still exist. And, as is the case with candy corn at Halloween, people either like them or hate them. 

It all began in Boston in 1847. Pharmacist Oliver Chase had a problem to solve. At the time, pharmacists compounded their products into various forms, including powders (sometimes sold as wafers or cachets), pills, or tablets. Customers, however, preferred to ingest their medications in the form of lozenges, and they particularly liked lozenges as a remedy for sore throats or bad breath. Unfortunately for the pharmacist, producing lozenges was labor intensive and involved the use of mortar & pestle to process the ingredients, kneading a sugary dough, rolling out the dough, and then cutting the dough into small discs.

Chase invented a lozenge cutter that could be pressed into the dough to create uniform discs. The cutter was probably a hand operated machine similar to this cutter from 1874. Press link here. Chase’s invention eventually led to his induction into the Candy Hall of Fame, because his machine made the commercial candy industry possible.

Oliver’s brother Silas was the first to recognize that the new cutter could be used to produce candy, and the brothers opened the New England Confectionary Company to produce what they called Chase Lozenges, later changing the name to NECCO wafers. [Remember those?] NECCO wafers tasted good, had a long shelf life, and were affordable. According to legend, civil war soldiers included the wafers in their knapsacks.

In 1866, another brother, Daniel, designed a letter stamping system that allowed phrases to be stamped onto larger candies shaped like scallop shells. These became known as conversation candies. Phrases included “How long shall I have to wait? Please be considerate.”

Smaller heart-shaped candies first appeared in 1902 and were a hit. The candies also could be used for games. At a Boston party in 1911, guests found their partners for the evening through the candy hearts which were broken in half. Each young lady received half of a heart. Young men had to find their candy match. Presumably a good time was had by all.

In 2010, NECCO decided to try new recipes, and replaced the banana and wintergreen flavors with green apple and blue raspberry. Other flavors included cinnamon, lemon, orange, lime, and chocolate. The traditional texture also changed from chalk consistency to one that was softer and chewer. Not only that, new phrases appeared. Instead of the familiar Be Mine, I’m Yours, or Kiss Me, the words Tweet Me or Text Me appeared. Consumers were not amused. Sales fell, and in 2018 NECCO went bankrupt.

The Spangler Candy Company purchased NECCO in 2018, but was unable to supply the Valentine market in 2019. Today production is back on track, and the Spangler Candy Company makes about 600 million conversation hearts annually. Other candy makers, including Brach’s, also make the sugared heart. In 2023, the National Retail Foundation estimated that Americans spent $28 billion on candy for Valentines, though much of that was probably spent on the many other varieties of sweet treats available in heart shaped boxes.

Illustrations & A Few Sources

Butterfly Valentine, 1940s/50s; Interior of Stylish Pharmacy, 1825, Wellcome Collection; Necco Hub Wafers Hoarhound Lemon Drops Ad, 1916; Necco Wafers, Information of New Orleans; Necco Sweathearts, Public Domain. Erin Blakemore. “A Brief History of the Conversation Heart.” Mental Floss. Feb 2, 2024. Gabby Romero. “The Sweet History of Conversation Hearts. Delish. Jan 29, 2024.

The post Be Mine, Valentine first appeared on Sandra Wagner-Wright.

Valentine’s Day will soon be here, a day for romance & flowers; cupids & candy in heart-shaped boxes. Like many days our calendars commemorate, Valentine’s Day is largely an invention from the Victorian Age. Romantic love has a much longer history, but was not always the foundation of courtship and marriage.

In doing research for my Salem Stories series, I discovered New England Puritans did not marry for love. Marriage was a contract that had little to do with religion. It was a civil matter presided over by a magistrate. Most marriages were arranged when two young adults decided it was time to marry someone suitable to their social rank. Parents were involved, but the couple selected each other.

The courtship process was less than private in overcrowded houses. There were probably stilted conversations in the parlor surrounded by the woman’s family. In good weather, there could be walks. But as a couple drew closer, they bundled. The practice gave the couple privacy to talk in the warmth of the young woman’s bed, without easily being able to touch each other. A wooden divider called a bundling board was placed down the center of the bed, and the couple remained fully clothed. If a couple fell into temptation and a pregnancy resulted, they married.

After the couple accepted each other, they and their parents drew up a contract. Marriage banns were published to announce the couple’s intention to marry. The wedding took place in the bride’s home with her family and a few friends. A small meal that usually included cake, rum, and a fortified wine called sack followed the ceremony. The marriage was not valid until it was consummated.

Marriage — A Mostly Permanent Condition

Once a couple married, a permanent separation was not allowed. In fact, a man who refused to live with his wife could be flogged. However, since marriage was a civil matter, a divorce could be obtained on grounds of adultery, desertion, or the husband’s failure to support his wife. Between 1639 and 1692, there were 27 divorces in the Massachusetts Bay Colony.

Marriage was a partnership, and though Puritans did not marry for love, the sentiment was essential in marriage. In the words of William Whately, marriage was a pleasing combination of two persons into one home, one purse, one heart, and one flesh. Indeed, spouses should come to love each other so much that both are persuaded that their spouse was the only fit and good match that could be found under the sun for them. Despite such declarations, a married woman remained under her husband’s authority and was considered a physically and mentally weaker vessel to her husband.

On the other hand, if the husband was frequently away at sea or for other reasons, or was otherwise unable to act, the wife acted as a deputy husband and took on his responsibilities. For example, in a deposition recorded in Essex County in 1672 Jacob Barney of Salem went to Philip Cromwell’s house to negotiate a marriage settlement. Goodwife Cromwell was also present. Barney expected Philip Cromwell to speak on the matter, but he had a severe cold that affected his hearing. Cromwell pointed to his wife and said whatever she negotiated, he would make it good.*

Marriage was a companionable business and domestic partnership, but it often also had a romantic component.

Anne & Simon Bradstreet: A Romance

Anne Dudley Bradstreet married Simon Bradstreet in 1628 at the age of 16. Her father Thomas Dudley was a founder of the Massachusetts Bay Colony. Anne’s husband was a prominent leader in the colony, and was often away from home. Anne gave brith to eight children.

Anne, a well-educated woman for the time, was a prolific poet. Her first volume of poetry, The Tenth Muse Lately Sprung Up in America published in 1650 was well-received in England and America. Anne expressed her love for Simon in the poem below.

TO MY DEAR & LOVING HUSBAND

If ever two were one, then surely we.
If ever man were loved by wife, then thee;
If ever wife was happy in a man,
Compare with me ye women if you can.

I prize that love more than whole mines of gold,
or all the riches that the East doth hold.
My love is such that rivers cannot quench,
Nor ought but love from thee give recompense.

Thy love is such I can no way repay;
The heavens reward thee manifold, I pray.
Then while we live, in love let's so persevere
That when we live no more, we may live ever.

? ? ? ? ?

*Anecdote in Laurel Thatcher Ulrich. Good Wives. 1982. p. 36.

Illustrations & A Few Sources

Saint_Valentine by Ntametrine; New England Bedroom; Puritans by John Cassell; Frontispiece of An Account of Anne Bradstreet; Simon Bradstreet from Henry W. Smith’s The Signers to the Declaration of Independence. Laurel Thatcher Ulrich. Good Wives. Oxford UP. 1982; Joel R. Beeke. “How Did The Puritans Understand Marriage?” Tabletalk. Sept 2023. Isabella Connor. “Anne & Simon; A Puritan Romance.” Finding Ann Bradstreet. Feb 12, 2019.

Sandra’s Books: Ambition, Arrogance & Pride. Saxon Heroines. Two Coins. Rama’s Labyrinth.

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Every February I wonder how a chubby, winged boy-child with less than useful wings became a symbol for Valentine’s Day. The Ancient Greeks called Cupid Eros, and described him as a vengeful youth. The Hellenistic Greeks and the Romans shrank the slender young man into a chubby benign figure. A few hundred years later, English culture viewed Cupid as a symbol of innocence, romantic love, and the mascot of Valentine’s Day. Cupid is a myth in many cultures, but of what, exactly?

Eros’s Family Ties

Cupid’s early years are surrounded in mythological scandal. He first appears in Homer’s Odyssey as the child of Aphrodite and Ares. Aphrodite was actually married to Ares’s brother Hephaestus. Both Aphrodite and Hephaestus had liaisons outside of the marriage bed. Aphrodite had her longest relationship with Ares with whom she had six sons and a daughter, including Eros. She also had a son with the mortal Anchises, a son with Hermes, a son and a daughter with Poseidon, and four daughters and a son with Dionysus. Apparently, Hephaestus didn’t notice the children weren’t his, or perhaps he didn’t notice them at all.

Despite their best efforts to remain unseen, the sun god Helios discovers the couple, and tells Hephaestus who made a net of invisible bronze chains, and draped it over his bed. Then he told Aphrodite he was going out of town.

Aphrodite invited Ares to visit her, and when they got onto the bed, the net fell on them. They were well and truly trapped. Hephaestus then called all the gods to see what his wife and brother were doing. Everyone had a good laugh, and the lovers were separated —Ares to Thrace and Aphrodite to Cyprus.

Eros

Eros, whose name means Desire, was a slim youth with boyish features representing love as irrational. He had wings, presumably for transportation, but also because love can be fickle and flighty. Eros carried a bow with arrows and a torch because love can both wound and inflame the heart. Eros has two types of arrows. One has a gold tip and fills its target with uncontrollable desire. The other has a lead tip that infuses its target with revulsion and the desire to flee. Eros is sometimes mischievous; other times, vindictive. He chooses his targets accordingly. On some occasions, Eros’s efforts don’t have the result he intended.

Eros & Apollo

One day Apollo, the patron god of archery, saw Eros taking care of his bow and arrows. The handsome god who had just defeated a dragon, told Eros he should leave weapons to those who could use them and go about his own pastimes. Eros was furious.

In revenge, Eros shot Apollo with a golden arrow so he would fall into a passionate love for the first woman he saw. Unfortunately for her, Apollo’s eyes fell on the river nymph Daphne. Eros then shot Daphne with the lead arrow, which was just as well, because she was sworn to virginity.

Apollo pursued Daphne. She rejected him, but he wouldn’t give up his pursuit. Finally, Daphne called on her father for help, and he transformed his daughter into a laurel tree. Apollo was heartbroken, and made a laurel wreath in Daphne’s memory. He returned to his creative and heroic endeavors. She remained rooted to the ground. Eros, no doubt, enjoyed the chaos he caused.

Eros & Narcissus

The mortal Narcissus was an excellent hunter, and the most attractive man in his city. He was also arrogant and disdained love.

Echo was a nymph who could only finish a sentence or repeat the last words someone spoke. When Echo saw Narcissus hunting, she fell in love with him. But she couldn’t speak unless he spoke first. One day Narcissus became separated from his hunting mates, and called out “Is anyone there?” Echo repeated “anyone there.” Narcissus said, “come here.” She said the same. Narcissus called we must be together. Echo rushed to Narcissus. He spurned her attentions. Echo fled in humiliation.

Eros was both angry that a mortal ignored the love of a goddess, and wanted to help Echo.
Eros shot golden arrows into both Narcissus and Echo, expecting that when Narcissus saw Echo, he would immediately fall in love with her. Unfortunately, Narcissus was sitting beside a lake at the time, and the first thing he saw was his own reflection. Narcissus didn’t realize he was looking at his own image, only that the creature was the most beautiful sight he had ever seen. He refused to be separated from the reflection. One day Narcissus reached out to embrace his reflection, fell into the lake, and drowned.
Echo eventually wasted away, leaving only her voice behind

Eros Becomes Cupid

Time passed and social expectations changed. Eros, the sexually attractive and controlling youth no longer appealed. In the 4th century BCE, women’s social status in Athens went into serious decline, and stories of Eros became linked with his mother, Aphrodite. Under his mother’s influence, Eros became less threatening and more relationship oriented. As Greek myths passed into Roman culture, names changed. Eros became Cupid, and Aphrodite, Venus.

Cupid & Psyche

Psyche was a beautiful princess with two sisters. In fact, many people thought she was more beautiful than Aphrodite, and began building temples in her honor. Venus was furious. She sent a plague upon Psyche’s kingdom and told the king she would not remove it until he sacrificed his daughter. So, he tied Psyche up and left her to die.

Then, Venus told her son Cupid to make Psyche fall in love with a hideous monster. [So much for the thought that Venus would curb her son’s vindictive nature.] Good son that he sometimes was, Cupid set out to do his mother’s bidding. But before the monster was in place, Eros accidentally struck himself with his golden arrow and fell in love with Psyche. Instead of linking her to a beast, Eros joined Psyche to himself. He didn’t let her see his face, but he kept her in a life of luxury.

When Psyche’s sisters realized Psyche’s lifestyle was more opulent than theirs, they were jealous. They badgered Psyche and said her husband was monster. Psyche began to have doubts and thought if she looked at Cupid while he slept, she would know the truth. And if he was a handsome man, she could refute her sisters’ allegations. So, Psyche took a lamp, and held it over her sleeping husband. She also had a knife, in case he turned out to be a monster after all.

Cupid, of course, was a creature of beauty (and didn’t look anything like a chubby boy). While Psyche gazed at her husband in awe, a drop of lamp oil spilled on Cupid. Oops. Cupid woke up, saw the knife in Psyche’s hand, flew out the window, and went home to his mother.

Psyche begged Venus to return Cupid to her. The goddess agreed, provided Psyche performed four impossible tasks: sort an enormous amount of pulses and grains; gather wool from a golden sheep; fill a crystal container with water from a spring that fed the Styx, and bring her a box of containing some of Persephone’s beauty. Cupid and other gods helped Psyche complete the tasks, but the fourth task was Psyche’s undoing. Psyche opened the box, and fell into a sleep as deep as death.

Cupid awoke Psyche with one of his arrows and told her to give the box to his mother. He then interceded with Jupiter to bring Psyche to Mt. Olympus where Jupiter commanded she be given nectar and ambrosia, to make Psyche immortal. She could then marry Cupid. And the couple may have lived happily ever after, which would be a first in Greco-Roman mythology.

Cupid Joins Valentine’s Day

As history progressed, Cupid became a symbol for romantic love. A trickster who aimed his arrows at people who sometimes resisted.

However, it was greeting cards that truly cemented the tie of Cupid, Red Hearts and Valentine’s Day. In the 19th century, social etiquette discouraged the free expression of one’s feelings. But what could be wrong with a small home made gift, or a card expressing affection for the recipient?

Even today, in the words sung by Sam Cooke, many people still urge Cupid to draw back his bow.

Illustrations

Cupid Shooting a Bow. Charles-Andre van loo. 1761.

Vulcan & Venus. Louis Jean Francois Legrenee

Mars, Venus & Cupid. Peter Paul Rubens.

Eros Farnese. Haiduc.

Apollo & Daphne. Nicolas Poussin. 1625.

Echo & Narcissus. John William Waterhouse. 1903.

Woman & Cupid.

Cupid and Psyche. Jean-Francois de Troy.

Cupid Pleads With Jupiter for Psyche. Raphael.

Young Girl Defending Herself from Eros. William-Adolphe Bouguereau. 1880.

1909 Valentine Card.

The post “Cupid, Draw Back Your Bow” first appeared on Sandra Wagner-Wright.

St. Valentine of Rome didn’t give flowers, candy, or cards. He gave soldiers the marriage sacrament. Claudius II declared soldiers couldn’t marry. He thought it reduced their fighting effectiveness. Valentine was also a Christian priest, at a time when Christians were persecuted.

Valentine soon found himself in prison. While awaiting his execution, Valentine healed Asterius, his jailor’s daughter. The night before he died in 269 BCE, Valentine wrote Asterius a letter, signing it “Your Valentine,” an act of love if not romance.

As a martyr of the early church, Valentine attained sainthood and is said to look after beekeepers, epileptics, travelers, engaged couples and happy marriages.

But Romance? That attribute entered February when Geoffrey Chaucer wrote that February 14, Valentine’s Saint Day, was the day birds and people find their mates. In his Parliament of Foules, composed in 1382, Chaucer wrote: “For this was on sent Volantynys day / when every foul cometh ther to chese his make.”

The Valentine’s Day we recognize began in 18th century England. Lovers expressed their devotion with flowers, candy, and greeting cards. Heart shapes, doves, and winged cupids symbolized the day.

I’ve never understood why cupids have such tiny wings relative to their body size. Artistic license, I suppose. Cupid’s mother is Venus, the Goddess of Love. The chubby cherub is the god of desire, erotic love, attraction and affection. Any person shot with his arrow is said to be filled with uncontrollable desire, otherwise known as lust, for the object of affection.

Valentine’s Cards became extremely popular in Victorian England, especially after 1840 when the Penny Post was introduced. Anyone could send a card for a penny, and postmen must have thought everyone did. In the days leading up to February 14th, postal carriers received a refreshment allowance to compensate for their longer days.

Prior to 1810, most Valentines were made by the giver. As printing advanced and delivery prices dropped, commercial Valentines appeared, though many continued to make their own cards with materials from a stationer’s shop. Victorians displayed their cards and later kept them in scrapbooks. Looking through the books was a popular evening pastime.

Cards featured perforated laces, hand-tinted lithographs, poems, hearts, and references to the language of flowers.

A bouquet of red roses remains a popular Valentine’s Day present. A red rose means “I love you.” Lilacs, on the other hand, refer to the first flush of love.

But don’t give your love yellow roses — they symbolize infidelity.

???

Illustrations from Wikimedia Commons

1909 Valentine Card, Public Domain.

Venus and Cupid Ceiling Painting by John Wood. Photo by DeFacto, Creative Commons Attribution.

1910 Valentine Greeting, Public Domain.

‘Please Accept this Heart of Mine,’ Public Domain.

Bouquet of Roses by Rohini, Creative Commons Attribution.

Victorian Valentine. Willow and Thatch.

Elizabeth Hanes. “6 Surprising Facts About St. Valentine.” History. Feb. 14, 2013.

The post Valentine Traditions first appeared on Sandra Wagner-Wright.

Whew!  There were more holidays last week than during the official “Holiday Season.”  Funny word “holiday.”  It’s a contraction of Holy Days.  Most folks don’t think of holidays as religious – we think of free time, decorations, special food, gifts, and shopping.  But, for those so inclined, there is opportunity for contemplation and purification.

CHINESE NEW YEAR – February 10

Those of you who read last week’s blog (and if you did not, why not) know last Sunday marked CHINESE NEW YEAR and the inauguration of the Year of the Snake.  Symbols for wealth and auspicious colors abound.  Golden tangerines and red money envelopes being in high favor.

KUMBH MELA – January 14-March 10

The Hindu festival of KUMBH MELA had several events during the week.  The festival began on January 14 and concludes March 10.  Every twelve years when the moon and planet Jupiter are aligned, pilgrims journey to the convergence of the Ganges, Yamuna, and (mythical) Sarasvati Rivers. Those who bathe at the rivers’ convergence are cleansed of their sins and receive blessings that can extend through several generations.  Eighty million pilgrims are expected at Allahabad to participate in ritual bathing.  So many people in such a small area inevitably leads to chaos.  Already this year, thirty-six people died at a stampede at the Allahabad railway station platform 6.

Three special days of the Kumbh Mela occurred last week.  The Mauni Amavasya Snan on Sunday, the Basant Panchami Snan on Friday, and the Basant Panchami Snan today.

 MARDI GRAS – February 12

February 12 – MARDI GRAS – CARNIVAL – one last chance to let things roll before the austerity of Lent.  The word itself is French for “Fat Tuesday.”  Dance, Sing, Eat, Drink, Parade, Mask.  Enjoy all the world has to offer.

And then, confess.  Because it is also Shrove Tuesday.  The last day for ritual Christians to purify themselves for the austerities of Lent.

 ASH WEDNESDAY February 13

The date for ASH WEDNESDAY is calculated as forty days before Easter.  Unlike consistent Christmas, Easter is set by the lunar calendar and moves.  On Ash Wednesday, many Christians have a priest place ashes on their heads in the sign of a cross.  While doing so, the priest intones, “From dust you are made and to dust you shall return.”  A sobering thought, especially for those still a bit ill from Mardi Gras.

 VALENTINE’S DAY –  February 14

Then there is the dreaded date of February 14^th – VALENTINE’S DAY.  One might wonder how a day originally commemorated by the Church to honor St. Valentine’s martyrdom became the day of Cupid’s arrow.  I suppose it’s about selfless love.  If you can equate the pressure for candy, flowers, and cards with love.  And, for some folks, the question of whether it might be time to take down the Christmas tree.  [See Kristen Lamb’s Blog http://warriorwriters.wordpress.com/2013/02/14/what-to-do-when-your-christmas-tree-wants-a-bass-boat/ ]

 VASANT PANCHAMI –  February 15

And now for something completely different VASANT PANCHAMI – a Hindu festival to salute spring’s arrival.  My favorite goddess Sarasvati presides.   She especially supports the arts: music, literature, and language.  Students place pens, pencils, and notebooks at her feet for her blessing.  In her left hand she holds the vina, a generic term for any stringed instrument.  (At my house, Sarasvati sits in my writing nook, hopefully to inspire my writing.)  Special color for the festival – yellow.  Special food, Kesar Halwa, a confection of flour, sugar, nuts, cardamom powder and saffron.

AND HERE WE ARE – A THREE DAY WEEKEND – PRESIDENTS’ DAY –  February 18

First there was GEORGE WASHINGTON – Once Known as the “Father of His Country” – the general who managed to avoid British Defeat – The first President of the United States.  Among the many words attributed to him, his reflection on the American revolution for freedom against Great Britain: “Our cause is noble; it is the cause of mankind.”  Washington’s Birthday is on February 22, but was not a national holiday.  Just an opportunity for school children to change the class bulletin board from the commemoration of Abraham Lincoln.

ABRAHAM LINCOLN – The Great Emancipator who presided over what some historians call the Second American Revolution.  He was born in a log cabin on February 12, self educated, the man who said:  “Government of the people, by the people, for the people, shall not perish from the Earth.”

In 1968 Congress passed the Uniform Monday Holiday Bill specifically to create the maximum number of three-day weekends.  Thus, the birthdays of Washington and Lincoln became more than individual bulletin board displays.  Now they have national recognition.  But whether we notice the contributions these men made to the United States as much as we stress over Valentine’s Day – you be the judge.

Holidays are about who we are and what we believe as a culture – religiously, politically, historically.  They are opportunities for refreshment, reflection, and laughter.  To have so many holidays over nine days – amazing

The post SIX FEBRUARY HOLIDAYS IN THE SAME WEEK first appeared on Sandra Wagner-Wright.